Tag Archives: Karl Alzner

Hold onto your ass Fred, the Caps are playing the Jets

23 Apr

In case you were wondering, that is a reference to a movie. Which one, I have no idea. My mom just says it when she feels particularly adventurous when driving. Moving on, the Caps are playing their most meaningful game of the season tonight. Two teams go in tonight with a shot at the Playoffs, and one leaves in the Playoffs. As of now, the Caps are first place in the Southeast Division and therefore third in the conference. If the Jets were to win, they’d clinch and have enough points to take over the Caps  place as first in the Division and effectively clinch the third spot in the division.

Working my magic with POW (that’s a lie, but I tried), there’s a small chance that the Caps could make the Playoffs if they win their next to and possibly even take the Southeast Division if the jets lose their last game. That’s not to say this game isn’t important, it’d be a lot nicer and easier if they could clinch tonight and not have to battle the last tow games of the season.

Do you think the Caps can clinch tonight?

Caps vs. Leafs; round 2

5 Feb

Tonight the Caps take on the Toronto Maple Leafs for the second time on this shortened season. The last match up between these two was a doosey with the Caps losing 3-2. While they gained momentum with an early lead via Joel Ward, they were unable to keep the pressure for the full game which the Leafs capitalized on earning them two points in the standings. While the Leafshave great young talent, the Caps inability to play a full game is what’s plagued them throughout the start of this shortened season and has cost them many games in the third (think Ottawa and New Jersey).

Playing a full game is vital if the Caps want to amount to anything and even make the Playoffs, which is seeming less and less likely with each passing game. To even have a chance at winning this game, the Caps have to be able to keep offensive pressure on the Leafs and get pucks in front of the net, one’s gonna tickle the twine sometime.

This boils down to individual player responsibility. the so touted “big guns” need to actually show up. Ovechkin? He has half as many goals as Joel Ward and his points aren’t anything to talk about either. Backstrom? Other than the game against Philly, he’s been pretty invisible with only a handful of assists and points. I think I’ve made my point.

If the Caps want to be a true Cup contender or even a team that’s halfway decent, everyone needs to come out and play every shift, every game. Let’s hope they can pull it together tonight in the Phone Booth and secure another W in the standings.


9 Apr

THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE PEOPLE!! THE CAPS ARE FACING THE BROADWAY BLUESHIRTS IN HOPES OF A RE-Wait, what? The Caps are playing the Bruins? Mushrooms…*gulp* well, as I was saying, the Caps are in the Playoffs! The day I never thought would happen is! *happy dance* Ok, let’s get down to business, folks.

The question is; who are these skating bumble bees and what do they want from us?

These bumblers go by the name of the Boston Bruins, residing in a place they call TD Garden named after the bank promoted by that really annoying guy. They dress in gold and black, bearing the resemblance of bumble bees. But they’re named after bears (wait,what?).


I is bumble bee and bear!

They have the likes of Chara, Marchand, Seguin, Lucic, and Thomas in between the pipes heading their tough as nails ’11 Cup champs. Am I the only one who’s afeared of these skating fashion disasters? (granted, not as bad as Philly or Nashville, but still)

Let us have faith, red nation, the Caps won their series against Boston in the regular season. Granted, the Caps are notorious for kicking ass in the regular season and rolling over dead in the Playoffs, but maybe going backwards (kinda) will result in a shiny, silver thing.

What can we expect Thursday? I have no freaking idea. I’m not a psychic, I can’t even remember tomorrow’s forecast. Let’s just hope it involves some major Bruins tushy kicking.


It all started with the Saber tooth tigers…

15 Nov

Helmet? Check. Intense look? Check. Movember mustache? Double check!

That’s right folks! Onthe  first “real” road trip the Caps face the Predators. Sounds scary, right? Their 8th place in the Western conference? not so much. That’s not to say they aren’t a good team, they are 3rd in their division (that ain’t saying much) and have Defensive fire power Shea Weber.

That’s not to mention the suddenly Pekka Rinne who’s save percentage is an impressive .929%  and has 8 of their 16 wins under his belt. And last but not least, the Preds offense. Well, lack thereof… It seems the Caps have found the Preds kryptonite seeing as their offense (minus 3 players) has shown up about as much as the Caps defense. Yeah, not so hot.

Does this mean this game will be a piece of cake? not at all. With a hot goalie and equally hot defense, we’re going to have to stay on our offensive and defensive toes. you aren’t off the hook either Vokoun! If the Caps stick to their guns and just play good hockey, we should be fine. But without Green *gulp* things could get a little hairy from time to time. I’d also love for Brucie to get the memo his crazy line changes AREN’T working and just causing Caps fans minor heart attacks. Can we win this game? Yes. Will we? depends on who shows up and, most importantly, time.

Caps vs. Devil wears Prada (3-2 SO)

14 Nov

Better late than never, no? With Hugh Grants “Pop Goes my Heart” blaring in the background infused with baby wails; I recall that late and cold night.

The Caps did part two with the christmas ornaments Devils in the Phone Booth this past Saturday. You read that right, folks. The Caps played the Devils back to back. Don’t ask me why, Gary Bettmen’s the one with all the crazy scheduling ideas.

the second game went down as you might expect; the Devils were tired and angry. The Caps were also tired and angry, just about different stuff. The Devils were angry about losing and the Caps were angry about accountability. Different messages, same vein, eh? At any rate, the Caps came out strong in the first making it 2-0 via Speedy feet Chimers and Brouwer.

The Devils decided that just wouldn’t do as they came back with a presence in the second and third periods to make the score tied at 2-2 by Skyora and Carter. While the Devils had it going on, clearly, the Caps were about as mobile as my Great Grandmama in a wheel chair. Not so much. They recorded just 2 shots on goal! I’m pretty sure my high school’s A team could do better than that.

If you thought the second was drier than the Grand Canyon, you’d be wrong. The third period was icecapades lead by, your favorite, #6 Dennis Wideman! Someone give that man a sticker, preferably sparkly. The Caps and Devils had a total of 9 shots on net. Either they were really tired or the defense was spectacular. I’m just going to go with the first due to our recent issues…

With no score in the last 20 minutes of regulation; the Caps were headed to fan favorite, Overtime! Overtime was even more depressing as both team only recorded one shot on net and no score resulted. You know what that means folks, Shoot out.

Was this the part where I switched to watch Pineapple Express because Shootouts always make me super nervous? I can neither confirm nor deny this. Either way, the Devils ended up with one more goal via David Clarkson with the fourth shootout goal.

All in all, it was a decent game. I wasn’t impressed with the second or third perod but considering they had worked their butts off the night before and were dead dog tired, I give them a pass. Also, a pat on the back for Wideman. Really great job, you workhorse. And a pat on the back for the other hard workers, you know who you are.

Every team has a weak spot…

7 Nov

And for the Caps, undeniably, it’s the defense. You’re thinking, “ugh, Camilla you say this over and over. We get it!” Are you sure? Because I have 7 people who clearly don’t get the message!

I know I harp on this a lot, I do, but why I’m harping on it is so people don’t get blindsided. Unless the Caps D become more consistent, they aren’t any more a threat to the Cup then the Blue Jackets. You say, “Ok, well Greens coming back. It’s not really an issue.” It is an issue! If they can’t play well, competitively, and consistent even without our star D, we lack the ability and depth to even think about going far.

Think about it this way; a player (or even 2-3) can’t carry a team. You have to play as a team, win as a team, and lose a team. If a team is working properly, one (or so) players aren’t going to carry you to the Cup. A more recent example of this is last years SCF.

The Bruins played as a team, every player and line played well. It wasn’t just Chara, Thomas (who was brilliant), and so on. It was the entire team playing well. On the other side you had the Canucks (don’t burn my house down, please) they were mainly reliant on Luongo, Kessel, and the Sedin’s. Yeah the other players played, but the people carrying the team were those 4 people (although I think the Sedin’s ought to count as one), which is why they ultimately lost. Along with Luonogo’s absolute collapse.

That’s what Washington’s issue is. It wasn’t the “brittle groin” goalie from last year (Cough*Varly*Cough), or the youngster (baby Czech) during the Playoffs, or even Voukoun so far this year. It comes down to us, as fans, and the other players and coaches relying to heavily on the “young guns”. If we’re going to win, and just play consistently, everyone’s got to show up every game. No excuses.

Islanders vs. girlscouts (5-3)

5 Nov

There was no mistake in that title, Caps fans. It was the Islanders vs. the Girlscouts. We were pitiful, damn pitiful. what part of defense is supposed to stay in their own zone and help prevent goals do the Caps not understand!? Girlscouts could’ve played better than the Caps did! (I say this being a former girl scout). How does a team that has won its division 7 times lose to a team who’s regularly in the bottom 10 in the standings? This game shouldn’t have even been an issue, much less a 5-3 loss.

The whole point of getting a lead is keeping it and rushing the net. What did we not do? Rush the net and keep the lead! This isn’t anything new, guys. They taught you this way back in pee wee hockey when you thought girls had cooties.

The Caps defense being as weak as diarrhea wasn’t the only glaring issue, but their old-enough-for-Depends goalie played just as well as my 9 month old cousin; HORRIBLE. Caps, you can’t honestly expect to win a Cup if your defense is weaker than water and you have an unpredictable goalie.

You can talk about it all you want, and try all the wacky line combos to your heart’s content. But until your defense gets serious, you’re no more a threat for the Cup than the Panthers. Keep that in mind next time, boys. You might actually show up.

Once upon a time…

3 Nov

In English, my teacher wanted us to write a creative short story. It was one of those I need grades in the grade book and tests are too much work, kinda grades. She gave us this mission, whether you choose to accept it or not (we had too): Write a short story about you as a super hero. And so it begins…PS-this is totally about hockey, you’ll see!
Way back in 1996, a girl was born. And not just any girl, but Camilla Anne Alsobrook (If you call me that I’ll hurt you). How was she special, you may ask? She was born with a pencil in her hand and an extensive vocabulary. At an early age, she specialized in creating intricate story plots for her Barbie’s (Ken was such the womanizer!).

Did her writing end there? No! She continued through her paralious years in middle school, writing about Star Wars so much her teacher refused to let her write anymore. Did she hit her road block? Was she doomed for failure? She persevered! With highschool in her view she became: The fearless hockey journo! With a titanium keyboard and super sleuth mind.

By day: an awkward school girl, who always forgets to do her French homework. By night: An ass kicking hockey journalist; ready to write analysis’, breaking news, and summaries.

She never let a story out of her sight; watching every game and interviewing players on their take on the action. She fearlessly braved riots, mobs, and beer dumping Flyers fans to get the story. Nothing would stand in her way.

the Journo signal!

One night, as she was getting the scoop from a fan. She saw the Journo signal, a mulleted Czech was wreaking havoc on the Caps and had taken Carlzner captive! She grabbed her trusty keyboard and climbed on her trusty mount Screech.

They flew to the mulleted Czechs lair to rescue the two star defensemen. He grabbed his hockey stick and started firing slapshots at them, but to no avail. Journo grabbed her keyboard and started firing vocabulary words at him! His slapshots were no match for “insidious”, “plethora” and “haircut”.

She grabbed the two defensemen and got back to the Phonebooth just in time for the start of their game against the Flyers. Everyone cheered her name and poured beer on the cheap mulleted Czechs head. Mission: Successful.

“Paging the Caps defense, would you please come to the Verizon Center? the Ducks are kicking our asses!”

2 Nov

You know that thing of where players help protect their own end and prevent the goalie from having to play twister while standing on his head? yeah, that’s called DEFENSE. Something of which the Caps are significantly lacking!

Where can we check this out!?

Look, I know we won. Woohoo! pop the bubbly! But in reality, we have some major things to fix. You know, our weak as diarrhea defense and our inability to rush the net. If we don’t fix those things, we’re just where we were last year. Out far to early with far too much talent.

This isn’t a new problem either, this has been going on a LONG time. Think when I could quote Barbie out of Barbie Rapunzel. The issue isn’t that we   don’t have talented players, we do. But they just aren’t  playing smart defensive hockey.

I get we have some extremely talented offensive minded Defense guys, like Green and Carlson. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t responsible for their own zone. Their number one job is to protect their own zone, clear the puck, and help the goalie. Scoring goals and getting fancy comes afterwards. That’s how you win games. And THAT is how you win the Cup (See: Boston Bruins).

Ducklings vs. Caps…

1 Nov

Today’s game pretty special. Nope, not because it’s the first day of November. Or because it’s the first game back at home after our disastourous trip to Canada (yikes!), but because one very special Andrew Gordon will be playing against his former team. And a fan base that still very much loves him.

I refuse to post a picture of him as a Duck!

He’s just one of those players who you miss. Kinda like when you went on that really long road trip and lost your teddy bear, you missed him but there wasn’t anything you could do about it.

Of course, this doesn’t mean we’re going to go easy on these water fowl. Oh no, we’re about as pissed as a wasp who’s got his nest stepped on. All I can say is, we need tighter D.  How do you expect to play agianst offsense heavy teams when your back ends as weak as diarehea?

He had hair!?

And seriously Brucie, what’s with putting Knuble on fourth line. FOURTH [insert explicative here] LINE!! I hope you realize you put the guy who put up one of the very few tallies against the Canuckleheads! Ugh, go get a chemistry set. You’re killin’ me.

Tonights lines, as of now (aka when I should be doing Gov homework, oops…)


 First line:

Ovie(8)- Backstrom(19)-Brouwer(20)

Second line:


Third Line (aka Meat ‘n’ taters!):

Chimers( 25)- brooksie(21)-Wardo(42)

Fourth line (which has almost all of my fave players on it!):

Hendy( 26)-Matty P(85)- Knuble(!!?)22.


Brucie, I hate you.

First line:

Hebrew Hammer(44)- Wideman(6)

Second line:

Schultzy (55)-Alzy[the wondertwins are split up!!](27)

Third Line:

Erskine[glad to see him back!!] (4)- JCar [aaahhhh!! *still flipping out*](74)


Vokoun in net, go figure.

PS- Thanks for the shout outs! @thedugsmusic (capsbasketball.blogspot.com) and @PuckBuddys (Puckbuddys.com also on RMNB)

%d bloggers like this: